Speaker: John Dyck, pastor of the Edmonton Bible Presbyterian Church

Hooray for our breakfast volunteers: Annette, Laura & Heather

Gender Blurring

I. There has been a concerted effort to blur the distinction between the sexes in modern society

• evidenced in unisex hairstyles, clothing styles
• evidenced in billboard and magazine advertising
• an unbiblical emphasis on equality has produced the heresies of feminism and homosexuality

From a report by Datamonitor:

'Gender complexity' - the feminization of society

Traditional distinctions between men and women are becoming blurred. Over the last century women have entered traditional male worlds such as the workplace. The once-predictable course of women's lives in Europe and in the US has undergone considerable upheaval. More women than ever before go into tertiary education, marry later in life or stay single, and more enjoy increased earning power. Women's drinking habits have radically changed too. Per capita consumption of alcoholic drinks among women in the UK increased by almost 27% between 1998 and 2003 and shows no sign of slowing down.

Men are becoming more feminized as they take a more active role in parenting, become more fashion-oriented and develop beauty regimes, up to and including plastic surgery. British men spend the equivalent of GBP45.50 per head a year on personal care products, and Datamonitor forecasts this will increase to GBP51.00 by 2008.

A clear impact of this can be seen in the TV adverts for Pampers nappies that feature a Dad, or All Bar One bars with lighter female-friendly decor. This becomes part of a modern marketing strategy.

It creeps into the church:

• women in office
• Today’s New International Version - gender neutral

We must be willing to hear what the Bible says apart from cultural influences.

II. The Scriptures speak of gender equality.

Gal. 3:28 - context very important

III. The Scriptures also speak of gender distinction

• an important distinction to maintain
• Gen. 2 - physical difference
• Deut 22:5 - clothing difference
• 1 Cor 11 - hair style difference
• 1 Tim 3 - to be seen in church offices
• Eph 5 - practical application

IV. The Significance of Ephesians 5:21-33

• Gender specific commands
• Wives: Submit
• Husbands: Love

V. The Importance of the Imagery

Our marriages reflect the reality of the marriage between Christ and His Bride.

For further reading. This article (below) was found here.

Divorce and Gender Blurring
by Bob Villareal

The best way to be positive in a negative world is to discover or rediscover a better way of doing things and work hard towards that end. That’s the lesson of the book of Nehemiah. There are few things more rewarding than fulfilling a God-given purpose. However, while endeavoring to accomplish that purpose, we should never ignore the negatives. In fact, the negatives can be used to get people’s attention though not all will have ears to hear. Again, that’s what Nehemiah did. This book can be looked at as a roadmap to revival.

Just what are the negatives? We are at a crisis point in our great country as we move towards a "post Christian" era. These things are not happening by accident. There is a cause-effect relationship behind the direction our country is taking. Our divorce rate is the "tear in the hull" of our nation-and it will, make no mistake about it, bring this nation down. The people on the Titanic thought that everything was fine. Little did they realize that this tear would be the ruin of the ship. Likewise, we are paying little attention to a condition that ought to be of deep concern to any child of God.

You don’t have to be a pollster or a statistician to observe the devastation all around us. There are few families that haven’t been directly or indirectly affected by this plague of divorce. Because of it, the institution of marriage is in serious jeopardy. The more divorce spreads, the more marriage becomes a game of musical beds. The terrible irony is that as heterosexuals seem to be moving away from marriage, the homosexuals seem to be moving toward it-even though most Christians realize that same-sex marriage is an oxymoron. Is this what God intended for marriage?

The sad reality is that the innocent are often the worst victims. Children of divorce are more likely to be divorced themselves. They are also more likely to have anger, to not do well in school and to get involved in crime. Their emotional devastation from divorce often lasts years if not lifetimes. They long to see their parents reconciled because nothing makes them feel more secure than to see their parents loving each other. Doesn’t the Bible say, "Love never fails"?

Satan has unleashed a fierce and relentless attach upon the home. He has turned divorce into a solution instead of a problem-at least in the minds of many. You would think that because the home is the center of his attack, that’s where Christians would be fighting back. Yet Christians are often the worst perpetrators of divorce according to a Christian pollster named George Barna. How can this be?

Before we can address the solution, we have to make sure we have identified the root cause of the problem. We Christians have had marriage seminars, marriage retreats and marriage workshops for at least thirty years now. If they have helped some people, that’s great. But if we are to be honest with ourselves, we must acknowledge the fact that these measures haven’t reversed our current divorce trends. If you ask most Christians, they will tell you that the three most common causes of divorce are money, lack of communication and sex. The only problem with this approach is that we had these same problems back in 1950 when the divorce rate was low. We still haven’t pinpointed the root problem which is confirmed by the undeniable reality that the plague is still with us in full force, though recent statistics are slightly less troubling.

To identify the real problem, we must go back to the garden in the book of beginnings and take a closer look at gender roles. God has designed a perfect marriage model that has worked for centuries. When that model is distorted or compromised, how do we suppose that anything but negative consequences will follow? We have witnessed the effects of at least one generation of unisex — the idea that, aside from the obvious biological differences, there are no differences between genders. As we have seen, the result of this gender blurring is more divorce, more homosexuality and more confusion. God is not the author of confusion. He is the author of perfect order and harmony. He designed the genders to complement, not to compete with one another.

In the 1940s, a huge mistake was made in America that we are still reeling from. It started with "Rosie the Riveter" who became a symbol of a phenomenon of that period. Women began entering the workforce in unprecedented numbers. Though some women returned to the home after the war, it set in motion a trend that is still with us today. Lest any notion that women will be blamed for this dilemma enters the reader’s mind, it must be emphasized that this is not a woman’s issue. It is a people issue. Men are just as responsible - if not more responsible - for women in the workforce. They encourage or even force their wives to work because of the economic advantages that the extra income provides. They usually don’t have a clue that they are seriously jeopardizing their marriage in doing so. Keep in mind that we have to look at the negatives before we can get to the positives.

If we could digress for a moment, let’s consider the three problems that are most often brought up as root causes of divorce. Do finances have anything to do with working mothers? How about communication? Does a working mother feel like being intimate with her husband after a hard days work?

So how could something as seemingly innocent and benign as a mother working - helping her husband provide for the family - seriously jeopardize a marriage? Didn’t the Proverbs 31 woman provide supplemental income for her family? Yes, it was supplemental - not primary - and it was out from the home. There is nothing wrong with a wife providing supplemental income working from the home, but when a woman launches her career as the primary or co-provider for the family and leaves her home, a whole host of problems emerge.

For starters, the wife is never assigned the task of providing for the family in Scripture. On the contrary, from Genesis to Revelation, the Bible is consistent in assigning that responsibility to the man. "But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." (1 Tim. 5:8 NKJV)

Provision is the husband’s God ordained role which is a major part of his headship. He is to be a gentle, loving leader. Paul told Titus, "The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." (Titus 2:3-5 KJV)

The Greek word for "keepers" means guardian. How can a woman be a guardian of the home from the workplace? She assumes conflicting loyalties. She endures temptations. She usually ends up spending more time with her coworkers than she does with her own family. Imagine telling a man that his wife would be spending most of her day with men gawking at her. Then throw in the possibility that her boss may ask her to a lunch with just the two of them. Most men would not be pleased with such a scenario, yet that’s exactly what most married women face at the office. That’s the reason that many affairs start in the workplace.

When a woman leaves the home, she leaves part of herself. The guilt she feels for turning over her children to someone else to raise, compounded with her mental and physical exhaustion, can be the source of frustration and arguments. God has uniquely equipped her to instill Godly character in her kids - to teach them to say, "Yes Sir" and "No Mam" - to respect authority and exhibit good manners. But how can she do all of this if she is not there? Both Lincoln and Washington attributed much of their success in life to their mothers. What if they hadn’t been there to make such an imprint of their lives?

When topics such as these are brought up, the first thing that you will typically hear is that the wife has to work because of finances. Aren’t finances one of the "big three" problems that lead to divorce? Yes, our tax burden has become astronomical. Yes, the cost of living continues to rise while disposable income tends to diminish. The question you have to ask yourself is, "Is anything too hard for God?" At this point you are likely to hear "Oh, you’re one of those wacky faith people, huh?"

Consider George Muller, the man of faith from Bristol England who died in 1898. He didn’t just have one household to feed. He had literally thousands of orphans to feed and clothe for over sixty years of his ministry. During that period, not one orphan ever went hungry. Muller simply brought his needs before the Lord in prayer and God bountifully provided. If God could feed those thousands for so many years, could he not do the same for one family today? Oh yes, that was a different era, but we serve the same God today.

Suppose a husband and wife added up the cost of day care, gas, restaurant food, dry cleaning and all of the other miscellaneous expenses that are incurred when a wife leaves the home for the workplace. Unless her salary is in the six digit range, the couple may end up close to "break even" when her salary is compared with her expenses. So why should the wife even work? Moreover, couples who work still seem to have financial problems because they tend to spend more when they make more. They have never learned to be frugal with the resources God has given them.

How can we be assured that if working mothers began returning to the home that our divorce rate would drop? If you observe the trends over the last fifty years in our country, you will notice that there is a correspondence between women entering the workplace and the divorce rate. In other words, both have steadily risen at about the same rate over that time period. Doesn’t this phenomenon stand to reason when you consider that we are slowly shifting away from the biblical marriage paradigm? People are quick to point out that there are other causes that would factor in to the proliferation of divorce. Yet as we have already observed, the three most often mentioned problems are not the root cause. In fact, these problems tend to be exacerbated when mothers leave the home.

Simple obedience was the main reason that God brought revival in Nehemiah’s day. Revival doesn’t just bring hope for today. When righteousness increases we can expect a brighter tomorrow for our children and grandchildren. At long last we will have finally gotten to the root cause of the problem so that we can start making headway.

What would such an awakening look like? As women returned to the home, our divorce rate would drop which would in turn cause a domino effect. Our crime rate would also drop. Children would do better in schools. Drug use would plummet. Our streets would gradually become safer. Men and women would get along better due to being in their proper roles. By the way, why do we have so many singles anyway?

In short, the transformation would be far more powerful than any government program. It would affect more people for a longer period of time than anything Hollywood has to offer. It would not be a quick fix, but it would get us back on the road to recovery. For those who think that this is "pie in the sky" all any "doubting Thomas" would have to do would be to study life in America before the Rosie the Riveter era. We had strong families, solid moral principles, respectful children and low divorce. This tells us that we need to go back to the point of departure to reverse the current paradigm shift.

If we once again "turn our hearts toward home" we will begin to notice that things are different. Things that we thought were not so important, such as family dinners, will have a new resurgence. We will be taking a Biblical, counter-culture stand for what is right. The homosexuals and feminists will be grieved, but God will be pleased.